Were we trained to have blushing problems?
Getting to the bottom of why people, who suffer from blushing, blush easy has always been a goal for me. There is no doubt that blushers are more sensitive to the opinions of others, then most people. The question that plagues me is why.
Yes, maybe it comes down to the physical. It might just be that we were born that way. Our overactive sympathetic nervous systems could be solely responsible.
On the other hand what if it's not. Was there environmental factors that lead to our excessive concern for how others judge us. Something or someone that lead to our unnatural level of inhibitions.
If I was to look for a reason in my own life I would have to point the finger at my parents. I have always felt my parent were overly critical. When ever I enter their presence I felt my behaviour become suppressed. I seem to watch what I said and did and altered it to avoid any disapproval from them.
It was so bad that if I ever received a phone call from a friend while in their presence the caller would often ask me "What's wrong? You sound weird". It's like I wasn't myself around them. I had to be extra careful, as I knew how easy it was for them to disapprove of my actions.
Thinking back to my childhood I realize they were overly critical. A majority of my thoughts and actions produced negative feedback from them. In reading the book Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz, it became clear that excessive negative feedback is key to causing inhibitions.
Being socially inhibited leads to excessive carefulness', which in return leads to more inhibition and anxiety. All this starts to make sense when looking to why I am naturally super sensitive to the opinions of others. It would seem I may have been trained by my parents to be that way. Thanks mum and dad.
Then again maybe I was just born that way. All this is just speculation. What isn't speculation is that without facing this aspect of myself I would never have overcome my blushing problem.
Part of stopping blushing was stopping to care so much what other people thought about me. I always envied people who were shameless. They just didn't seem to care what others thought. I on the other hand had too much shame about myself and actions.Learning to drop the shame has been a blessing. Looking back I truly believe that you can't lead a happy life, let alone stop excessive blushing, until you stop caring so much what other people think.
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